Truths My Husband Taught Me

My husband celebrated his birthday this year by spending three days in Idyllwild.  He turned 58 years old – we met when he was 39.  I was a single divorced mother with three kids and he was a single divorced man with two dogs. We actually met while I was on a date at a coffee house. The place was small, uncomfortably hot and had very loud music.  My date and I went outside to escape the heat and struck up a conversation with the man beside us. We invited him to the church we both attended. Six months later we started dating – (Eric and I started dating, that is…the other gentleman found his soulmate not long after.)

Sixteen years have passed since we were married. Eric laughed recently and said it should be 17.  I wanted one more good tax return as a single Mom so we moved our original date from November to January.  He still shakes his head at that one. My husband took on three boys heading into their worst (they were 8, 10 and 12)- I took on two dogs that frequently ran off and required trips to the pound.  In the end, however, guess who got the bargain in that deal?

I’ve learned a great deal from my husband over the years. He has been my confidant, my partner in crime and my biggest fan. I could not ask for a man that loves me more or makes me feel loved more. I decided to put a list together of the things that Eric has taught me…

1. You can be beautiful at any size – Eric has seen me at size 8, size 18 and everything in between. I have seen him at his leanest during his Cheif Initiation and at his heaviest during his health issues. My love for him didn’t change but for some reason, it was hard for me to believe that his love didn’t either. I believe him now. It may be the soft focus and failing eyesight that we both share, but either way…he loves me regardless of size.
2. Some men can be trusted with your passport in another country – So this may freak out some of the women but when Eric and I travel, I leave all my credit cards, money and sometimes, even my cell phone at home. He doesn’t ask me to. I manage students, faculty, and everything else all year long. When we travel, I leave all the details to him. If I need money, I ask him for it. This isn’t for everybody, but it works for us. It has helped me to grow in my trust since he has yet to leave me in Ireland, Jamaica or anywhere else that we’ve traveled!
3. Slow and steady may not win the race, but it won’t give you a heart attack on the way up.  Hills are my arch-nemesis. When I walk, as soon as I hit an incline, I’m focused…and fast. That is until we started hiking in Idyllwild and he kept reminding me that a) we had no reception so he couldn’t call 911 and b) his ability to carry me down the hill if I passed out may inhibit me from receiving life-saving measures. He was right….since the incline was not going to suddenly stop anytime before we reached the top – which was miles away. Once I slowed down, I actually enjoyed the hike….and other things…like breathing.
4. It’s not always what someone says with words, but what is underneath the words – Eric is a very eloquent writer. Words flow from his brain to his fingers with ease. He has a bit of a kink when they go straight to his mouth. Sometimes they get a bit jumbled. We spent years with me being the literal thinker and saying “but that’s not what you said!” to him when he got a bit off track. Now we’ve both grown in our grace for each other and we tend to look for meaning, rather than concrete translations. We also realize that we both can get distracted very easily so we don’t get offended when we have to repeat something. This works very well for me when I realize I had something wrong in the first place…
5. Love is being willing to drive three hours out of your way for someone- Eric has driven me to Los Angeles more times than I can count. Most of the times, he has then turned around to drive to work in Carlsbad, adding another 90 minutes onto his drive. He says that he does it because he enjoys the time in the car with me. I, in turn, love to sleep in the passenger seat so I’m a horrible person to drive with if you truly want to spend time with me. Ok..this one is getting complicated but all I can say is…the man is a saint.

We still have our ups and downs just like everyone else.  Life isn’t perfect. This is the second marriage for both of us but we will be celebrating 17 years of matrimony next month. He’s a keeper. He appears to think that I am too. I guess it’s a good thing we found each other – I’m not sure if anyone else would be able to put up with us!  What do you enjoy about the special person in your life?