Could you help a little less?

I’m a helper…or at least, I think I am. But you would need to ask my husband since today, I was asked to help…a little less. A little less actually translated to…”could you help someone else?”  My husband was leading our ushers at church today and we both have realized that I have a tendency to “help” by being a tad bit bossy… to no one else other than my husband. “Did you remember this?” “Do you need help with that?” “Does everyone know this?” The typical answers are Yes..No…Yes. So today I was relegated to the car.  Not forever…but until fellowship began and I had something else to do besides wonder if my husband needed my help.

Now…before anyone thinks my husband actually confined me to the car, he didn’t.  I just know myself and if I was anywhere nearby, I would have quickly wandered over.  This theory was proven when I came down from the parking garage and…hmmm…wandered over. I had let two of the men (that I’ve known for over 20 years) know that I was working on helping less. As I wandered over, one approached me with, “So…is this you helping less?” I replied that I should probably wander off again.  To this, he had the best reply. “Well…if you’re an alcoholic, you probably don’t hang out at the bar.”  He gave me a quick hug and I took his advice and took my leave before I began choking on the questions that were making their way up my windpipe.

Here is my lesson for today. The ushering went on without me. The plates were all passed. If there were any hiccups, I didn’t notice from the audience and my husband did a wonderful job…without feeling the need to keep me informed of each step in the process. I had a wonderful time just sitting in church enjoying the music and message. Life as we know it continued on and I found him after his duties were done to help with the cleanup. My contribution for the day? I carried a bag of baskets to the car. I felt like Baby in Dirty Dancing…”I carried a watermelon.”

We ended the day with a trip to the zoo after scoring some free passes from our friends. This is also after spending Friday night at a resort and having a wonderful dinner that my husband planned for our anniversary. So what’s the point in all this?  I can’t tell you that I’m going to completely stop “helping” but I think I will work on doing a little more listening to what the poor man actually needs me to do. I will remove my manager hat on Friday afternoon and leave it tucked under my desk until I need to put it back on Monday morning. Eric doesn’t need another manager in his life – he needs a wife that lets him do his own managing when he needs to. So…if you know me and bear witness to my typical need to manage my husband, please feel free to step in. Just grab me by the hand and take me to car…I’ll get the hint.