Why Nursing?

I am a Nursing Educator – which means…I’m a nurse…and I teach. A friend asked me recently how I ended up in teaching and if I missed working with patients. I had to stop and think. How did I end up teaching? Actually…how did I end up in nursing?

I wasn’t one of those people that planned on being a nurse from the time I was seven. At seven, I wanted to be Tigger at Disneyland (strong aspirations from the beginning, obviously!) At 12, I wanted to be a veterinarian. I was discouraged from this course since I passed out at the sight of blood. I’m sure that nursing would have been off the table at that time also. At 16, I just wanted to work anywhere that paid money so headed to the local convenience store that my brother managed. At 18, I was promoted to manage my own convenience store. At 20, I started crawling around on convenience store floors with a calculator strapped to my leg taking inventory.  Age 22 found me still crawling on floors but in Los Angeles for a change of scenery.  At 23 I was married and started to pop out babies. At 27, I was getting divorced with a third baby on the way and on welfare. Nowhere was nursing. Actually, nowhere was much of a plan for anything…I was sort of letting life happen rather than making life happen. You may have noticed that as you read through my sparkling resume.

At 27, I decided that I needed to attack life in a different manner. I loved math so accounting seemed like a natural choice. I went to National University and began the process of signing up for school…with a plan to begin after my baby was born. Something happened, however, during my three days in the hospital. My nurses were…truly amazing. They took a special interest in me as a single parent.  I was a bit of novelty.  The nurses were constantly checking on me and not just physically.  They were concerned about me emotionally – what did I need to care for three children on my own? Did I have help? Did I need resources? A month earlier I had met a woman who has become one of my dearest friends so I had both help and resources at that point. What I didn’t have…was a life path.

I came out of the hospital with a renewed vision. I no longer passed out at the sight of blood (thanks to having three boys!) and while nursing had never…ever…been in my line of sight, it suddenly seemed to be where I belonged. I started school when Matthew was five months old. I was 28 and a mess. Big heart…no organization, no confidence, and no job. I was on welfare – and buying food with WIC coupons. Again…not the path I expected to be on. Listen up, kids…pick a path…or one will get picked for you.

It took four years to earn my Associates Degree in Nursing. (FYI – I was not on a program for welfare laden, pathless, single mom’s…it took all of us four years!) Two years of prerequisites and two years of nursing courses. One very hard test at the end and then…my nursing license. One of my happiest memories was going to Social Services and canceling my welfare check. I was self-sufficient…and in a very amazing profession.

Nursing afforded me the ability to provide for my family.  It allowed me to regain my self-respect.  It gave me the opportunity to leave work some days feeling like I truly had made a difference.  (Some days had me questioning my life choices again but those were much fewer!) Nursing made a huge difference in my life. I finished my BSN and MSN and maybe that’s why I teach now. I know what nursing did for me – I want to see other people find their way also…and I have.  I’ve seen students walk across the stage at graduation that were the first in their family to graduate from anything. I’ve seen students that were not great test takers but incredibly instinctive on the floor make it to the end, pass their NCLEX and go on to provide amazing care. So while nursing patients brought me great joy, ‘nursing’ my students does the same. (Disclaimer – again…on most days…some days I just grab a glass of wine and think about my life choices again)

So why nursing? I guess because I can’t imagine myself anywhere else now.  I guess nursing isn’t what we do…it’s who we are.  It just took a long time for me to realize it.