Yep…I’m that wife.

It’s been a week. Not a good one…not a bad one…but one of those that will be eternally ingrained in memory. Seven days ago, Eric started showing signs of another small bowel obstruction (SBO – not to be confused with ‘slight body odor’ – not a problem of his!). We know the signs…and heed them well. While he always recovers, they take their toll on his body, causing him a great deal of pain and frustration. We try to manage them from home if he can keep fluids down but if not, off to the ER we go for the dreaded Nasal-gastric tube (NG tube). He hates it – as does everyone. The tube runs from the nose to the stomach and allows a chance to keep everything decompressed and empty while he heals. It also makes your throat incredibly sore and your voice sound like a lifelong smoker.

We decided early to hit the ER since Eric was presenting differently this time – leg cramps and signs that his dehydration was already a problem. Three bags of saline later, he was looking chipper and very happy that this go around may resolve quickly and without too much intervention. But…then things took a left turn that cascaded him into the OR at 9pm. Nothing makes you feel insecure like hearing a doctor tell you, “I think we need to do this tonight rather than wait until tomorrow” and hear your husband agree to have himself cut open because he’s in so much pain. The one positive? The NG tube could be put in while he was under. That may have been what clinched the deal!  The PCA (Patient Controlled Analgesia) was a bonus. God love the person that invented that. We dubbed it “the green button” and it got a regular workout the first-day post-surgery.

So at 9pm on Monday evening, he was wheeled into the OR for a two-hour surgery to remove the obstruction and the barium contrast from his CT.  At midnight, he was wheeled back up to his room with a small section of his bowel removed and the NG tube in place…but with some good medication on board and the original pain resolved. I left to go home at midnight-thirty and headed back in the morning before heading to work.  Yes…I went to work two days last week…while my husband was in the hospital…recovering from surgery.  Yep…I’m that wife. I did stay at the hospital, however on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. Regardless…the guilt hits when we least expect it.

On Thursday, I ran to see Eric at 6am and then went to work by 8am. In the midst of employee evaluations, new instructors and a new curriculum, it did seem prudent to at least make an appearance last week. I stayed late after providing some training for a new instructor and then headed back to the hospital.  Eric only got me for a few hours that day but with the promise of a full day on Friday. As I was leaving the hospital, one of the nurses stopped me to thank me for showing up…you know…because husbands really like it when their wive come by.  I tried not to read the judgment in his eyes and thought better of yelling “I WAS HERE YESTERDAY AND I’LL BE HERE TOMORROW!” since it would have sounded more like Ross yelling at Rachel – “WE WERE ON A BREAK!”

Ahhh…in the end, I had to remind myself….how does Eric feel?  Was he OK with me being at work two days this week?  Yes…he was. And…in the end, his is the only opinion that matters in this situation.  On both days that I was gone, he was surrounded by friends stopping by.  One even grabbed our dogs for their usual prayer walk on Saturday.  You couldn’t buy friends like these – we truly count them in our blessings.

The rest of the nurses (and even ‘that nurse’!) were great. From ER to discharge, he was well cared for. His nurses, CNA’s and MD’s all took time to listen to any concerns and did their best to make him comfortable. If his nurse was busy, the charge nurse was quick to respond to anything he needed.  He is back home now after his discharge on Saturday.  While everyone was great in the hospital, it’s not a place to get rest. He slept like a rock last night…and not because we had a green button!

So now is the quandary of this week. I’m supposed to be at a writing conference in Dayton, Ohio on Wednesday. I was originally going to cancel – even though it’s too late to recoup any of the funds. Eric wanted me to go. I’m still up in the air since if he has any post-surgery complications, I really don’t want to be “that wife” all the way across the country!  I can deal with it five miles down the road!  I guess we will decide like we decide everything else…together. We’ll see what tomorrow brings. Either way, it will be Ok because while I may be “that wife”, I’m his wife….and he seems OK with that.