Where Did the Last Six Weeks Go?

I made a startling discovery today as I looked at my blog. It has been almost six weeks since I’ve written. I knew it had been a few weeks but six? I started asking myself (in a not so nice voice) how could I take six weeks off of something that I tell everyone is a self-imposed form of therapy that helps me find balance in my life? Does that mean that I’m currently unbalanced? (If you have spent any time with me lately, you may be answering that in your head.)

I began taking stock of what life-altering events had taken place in the past six weeks that apparently had stolen my time from pounding out my thoughts. And…hmmm..not much. A trip to see my grandson that should have actually given me more time to write. I realized that I watched Moana about 8 times so I’m pretty sure I could have squeezed out a post or two out.

I did connect that my writing hiatus coincided with my exercise vacation and my break from all common dietary sense, so I’m seeing a self-destructive pattern that I need to get a hold of. I’m currently full of half-developed thoughts, saggy muscles, and pants that are too tight.  Tonight seemed like a good to at least start working out my writing muscles. I’ll grab the hand weights tomorrow…I don’t want to strain anything.

So tonight, I’m taking stock in what keeps me from writing on a regular, disciplined basis. My husband writes daily and never seems out of ideas. I came up with the following four excuses that have been holding me back for the past six weeks…and potentially the last fifty years.

1. I don’t have anything worthwhile to write.  I’m thinking that most writers don’t wake up daily and think – Today, just like yesterday, I will write a column worthy of the pulizter prize. I remember reading the advice from a successful writer that said to just write…even if it’s garbage. I know I’m paraphrasing…but the sentiment makes me feel better…since sometimes it feels like garbage is all that’s pouring out. Better garbage on the page…than nothing on the page.
2. I’m too busy trying to keep the house clean.  I live in a house with two 80-pound dogs and a white tile floor. IT’S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. We have enough hair to make a third dog….and it will be there after I write something….even if it’s garbage…about trying to clean up the dog hair!
3. I’m stressed about _______ and it’s distracting. I’m a fifty-five-year-old female. I’m going to be stressed…about something…daily. If it’s not hypertension and Type II Diabetes, it will be my adult children or my gaggle of students. If I wait to write until I’m no longer stressed, I will need a tablet in my coffin.
4. I’m just going to catch up with _______(Facebook, Netflix, Work email) Is it too late to be diagnosed with adult ADHD? I’m like the dog in “Up”.  Squirrel….shiny thing…let me watch some random video about some random thing….and Moana…which I watched eight times. I need a therapist…or Ritalin.

So…my goal this evening was just to get something on the page and to try to figure out what was holding me back. Check. Page completed. It may not be “worthwhile”, it may be surrounded by dog hair, I may be distracted and longing to check my email, but something is down. Tomorrow I’ll work on getting back into my pants.