My Father’s Voice and My Mother’s Legs

Genetics…love them or hate them…they play a part in who you are. Some people are blessed by heredity, born of beautiful people with beautiful genes (which most likely translates to beautiful jeans also.) Some of us were not blessed with genetics, sensing that while we may have picked up some of our parents best traits, we also pick up an odd combination of other less desirable characteristics. I realized over time that some of my parents’ positive traits must skip a generation or at least a sibling. Here is a list, however, of some of the characteristics that I desired and what I ended up with.

1. My Mother’s Soprano voice and ability to play multiple instruments. My mother played the piano, the guitar, the harmonica and the accordion. I was born with not only two left feet, but apparently two left hands, which can only act in synchronous movement. I’m not sure if you have watched much piano playing, but apparently both hands need to work independently. I also didn’t get my mother’s soprano but am a solid alto when I’m well, and can double as a tenor when I have a cold, which I’m pretty sure came from my Dad. I also got his propensity to call everyone “buddy”…which makes both my husband and boys wonder if I’ve been watching Elf too often.
2. My Mother’s Irish heritage. No matter how often I die my hair red, and tell myself that I’m Irish, I know that I did not pick up the physical attributes of Irish women. I spent time in Belfast and saw it first hand. The women are tiny with delightful personalities. I wrote a comment after returning that I have decided that I’m not Irish but must be Scottish…or Viking…or maybe Mastiff. What I did get from my mother, however, was her legs. I have a varicose vein in exactly the same spot that she did which makes me long for the days when support hose were fashionable. I have not worn a dress in years. She had no idea how good she had it.
3. My Mother’s feet. I’m pretty sure she was a size 7 1/2. I am a size 10 and I’m only 5’4″, which makes me look like a dwarf wearing ski’s. I also have Alabama feet which resemble a Hobbits during the winter. It’s time for a pedicure.
4. My Father’s ability to talk to anyone. My father will go into the hospital with a heart attack and come out with five new best friends. Nurses hang out in his room just because he’s so pleasant to be with. I am actually more introverted in new social situations which means that if I have a heart attack, I will probably say something completely awkward and will be left to do compressions on myself.
5. My Mother’s artistic talent. My mother was a seamstress that made amazing dolls, clothing and stuffed Memory Books to hold snapshots of the family. She would sew late into the night when we were kids to make extra money for Christmas. I knew that this trait was off the table for me when she had to finish my 7th grade Home-Economics assignment. I was making a crop top long before they were fashionable.
6. My Father’s ability to drive across country. My father lives in Alabama and makes frequent trips to see us. We have only recently asked him to limit his driving to 400 miles a day after his last heart attack, but before that, he would drive all day long to limit his hotel stays. I have anxiety in traffic and if I’m in the passenger seat, will fall asleep within five minutes of pulling out of the driveway. My husband does all the driving on long trips, since it is obviously safer and requires less medication.

It is interesting to me that I resembled my father as a child but can see my mother’s face every time I look in the mirror as a middle-aged woman. I know that we all joke about becoming our mother’s but truly, she has taken up residence in my cheekbones, neck and eyes. It’s oddly comforting, though, to see her since I lost her almost 20 years ago, and still miss her country cooking, her beautiful singing and her desire to give away everything in her home to anyone that wanted it. While I can laugh at the genetics and what I didn’t get from my parents, I know that I cherish every visit from my father and every memory of my mother. While they couldn’t pass on every trait that I would have liked, they both passed on a trait that was prevalent in both sides – the ability to laugh at whatever life passes out.

And that may have been the best gift of all.