I went to the doctor recently…not because anything was wrong but my insurance will change this year. It seemed prudent to get a check-up before I may need to find a new office. I like my doctor; I see her infrequently and she typically schedules me for multiple procedures when I come in since I probably won’t be back for two years. This is really a study in operant conditioning – each time I visit, I get ‘rewarded’ with a series of diagnostic tests like a colonoscopy, mammogram or bone density test and I decide not to go back for two years. We are in what we call a Negative Feedback Cycle – the less I visit, the better I feel. You can read about my 2017 visit here.
I do appreciate her, however, because she keeps the lecture to a minimum and doesn’t remind me that I’m a middle-aged nurse who should know better. She just gets out her prescription pad and starts writing out all the procedures and labs that I need and I am pretty good about going and getting them done. I’ve currently completed the labs, mammogram and bone density test and only need to return for my Pap in June. Yeah…that will be a fun day…
This brings me to my labs. As I reviewed them, I was hoping for the typical overweight-middle-aged-menopausal woman’s desire…that my Thyroid Stimulating Hormone would be sadly (or not so) proving that my weight gain was caused by a hormonal imbalance. Give me a little bit of Synthroid and I’ll be back on track. But no…I am apparently exceedingly healthy – everything was literally middle range…even the thyroid. Well…except my cholesterol. I need to break up with cheese.
Hand-in-hand with my cholesterol is my weight. It is definitely higher than it should be and makes me feel uncomfortable in my skin. I think I went on a three month binge at the end of last year and while I’m no longer gaining…I’m definitely not losing either….which would be preferable. I have to get on a plane next month and my anxiety always increases when I have to FWO – Fly While Overweight. If you’ve never had to do it, you don’t understand reading the faces of the other passengers while they try to ascertain if you will be spilling into their seat when you sit down. And I can tell you…with the size of airline seats…yes, I will.
So…I guess I’ll set up that Pap for next month and ask my MD for some advice on weight loss. She will most likely provide some great input of eat less…move more…to which I will ask her to write it on a prescription pad so I follow it. I will return to what worked last year which was actually be aware of what’s going in my mouth and resume some healthy coping mechanisms…prayer…mindfulness…and hitting my punching bag. It doesn’t take away the cravings but I’m breathing so hard afterward that any attempt to chew would be lethal.
Maybe I’ll have her check my thyroid again…just in case.
Mothering, Marriage and Menopause 
I was just thinking about you this morning, Sheri, and then poof! I saw your post. I have a wonderful doctor, too, who listens to me and allows me to run the health show – with her input of course! Sometimes she has to do a hard sell to get me to do the labs and screenings, but I’m up to date. Weight is such a loaded subject for us women. You are brave to write about it and I know you will take the actions you need to take to become more comfortable with yourself. You’ve been through so much this last year. Did you end up registering for NSNC? I wonder if that is where you are going next month.
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No – I’m going to Vancouver to help with a nursing textbook. It should be a fun trip at any size – I enjoy all of the women I’m going with! I keep reminding myself that I’ve lost it before and can do it again, but am trying to focus on health more than anything. I don’t feel healthy at this size so it’s time. Hugs to you friend! I hope we can meet up at one of the conferences next year!
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Hugs back to you. Have a wonderful trip. Cheers to health!
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It’s funny you say that cause I think I need a more comprehensive thyroid check….
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I keep thinking that but no…apparently I don’t. It is always good to check, however; I’ve had two friends with thyroid cancer so truly I’m the lucky one. I saw something the other day that said, “apparently it’s not my thyroid making me fat…it’s the refrigerator!”
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I need that as a magnet on my fridge….
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ME TOO!
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OMGOLLY!!! I thought I was the only one who thought these things!!!! 😂. I very much related to ALL of this.
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I love hearing that since there are times when I think I’m the only neurotic one! Turns out that we have enough of us to start a support group!
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Well lets not use the neurotic word….let’s go with something more fun. My brain is still jet lagged but I am SURE we deserve a better word. I mean….we ARE neurotic….but still. 😂
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Let’s go with focused! That sounds more positive!
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THERE YOU GO! 🙂 I’m all in !!
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For weight loss you just have to keep trying different things until you find what works for you. My joke of the moment is that I know I am going to lose weight this summer, how much does a uterus weigh? Cause I am having a hysterectomy. 🙃
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Now there is a positive way of looking at that! I love it!
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I always have “me too!” moments when reading your blogs Sheri. Thanks for posting them. I’m flying to Michigan in a few weeks and already worried about FWO. It’s been a challenging year, but that’s even more reason to stay on top of my health and yet that the first thing that drops. It’s a vicious dichotomy! Thanks for the giggles, it reminds me to keep my perspective in check.
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Always! I’m with you on the challenging year…it seems to spur on my unhealthy coping mechanisms! I’m the picture of “eating my feelings!” Enjoy your flight, however, and remember that regardless of what size we are, those seats are just too small!
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